my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
