it was like eating out sand paper
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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