I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
