so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
