i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
