did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
