I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
