All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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