You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
