Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the condom got lost in my hair
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize