The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
