too bad you live with your parents still
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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