we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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