did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
