It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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