It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
