ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We talked him into tasing himself.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
