he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
