i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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