You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
