Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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