i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
