you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
