yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
