so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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