i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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