What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
