you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
