for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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