We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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