operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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