And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This baby is an asshole
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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