So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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