just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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