i was born a porn star she said
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
