Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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