so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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