He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
