stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
