I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
