yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Screwed.edu
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
