So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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