i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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