I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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