I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
