Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
