This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
