sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let's get the cat blown out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
