he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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