The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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