He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
